Way To Go, Godot!

On a psychodiagnostic residency, where your job is just to understand people, one of the tools you use is the famous Rorschach Inkblot Test. In this test, the patient is shown a standard series of pictures created by squirting ink onto a page and then folding the page over. They are then asked to describe what they see in the blots. The answers contain all the keys to the patient’s perception. You may not see, at first, how an explanation of this technique can be of any practical value to you unless you are training to be a psychologist, but if you’ll read on I can promise you there is a payoff for us wayward seekers of personal growth.

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Let’s face it: if you’re reading this article, you’re probably not like the others. There has probably always been something a little different, maybe even a little awkward about you. But you used that difference as a strength; you took it as your permission to explore the world from new angles, and to develop yourself into the sort of person who keeps working to develop yourself. And you probably succeed in your personal development. You are probably much more motivated than the general public, much more likely to succeed in business, more likely to enjoy a happy family life and to age gracefully.

Carl Jung based much of his psychology on the idea that people and societies are fundamentally balanced, that each of us has all of the possible dramatic configurations and mythological motivations built in, and that they each have equal importance for our overall being. This means that the things that you really hate about other people are exactly the parts of yourself that you are trying to disavow. Jung called these parts the shadow.

That’s why I think it’s so important to watch CSI:Miami.

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In my recent article on hypnosis, I mentioned fairly casually that we don’t live in the present moment. We live in memories and dreams.

This is an idea that will not be unfamiliar to those with a mystic bent, but the rest of you may suspect that there is some craziness going on here. In fact, there is! But it is a craziness that is supported by a lot of very good neurological and psychological research.

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People communicate with each other constantly, and in ways we hardly ever even realize. You heard that right: even a truly prolific writer is unlikely to ever match in written words the sheer volume of information that is constantly transmitted to the people around them, in the form of body language, expressions, small gestures, barely detectable fluctuations in muscle tone, in vocal cadence. Beyond these measurable types of physical communication, there’s another level of communication buried under and between the language itself. It occurs just as automatically as body language and just as pervasively. And, like body language, we usually don’t even realize we’re doing it.

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When you’re considering psychotherapy, you should remember that the most important aspect of the treatment, in terms of predicting whether it will be effective for you, is the relationship itself. A deeply trusting and cooperative relationship with your therapist must be developed in order for all the other things that need to happen to happen. So, first of all, find a therapist you like and feel understood by. That means calling up a few different therapists and speaking with them over the phone, maybe even going in for consultations, until you find someone who you feel like you can relate to.

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